This Is How We Live It Up In My Town

Every time I look down at my left big toe, I want to wash it off. It looks like I spilled ink all over it, or some kind of dark dirt. The stain, however, is not ink. It's a big ugly bruise I got when a girl accidentally tipped a stool onto it.

And for all that my toe hurts, my calves hurt worse for all the dancing I did. We went out to celebrate Thursday night when Roommate's co-workers invited us. I ran into an old co-worker of my own at the place we'd elected to 'check out.' I talked, laughed, and later danced with exuberance as though no one were watching. I only hope no one was.

Friday, I had to do something about the banana pops I'd begun to make Thursday in anticipation of people coming over to celebrate with us. I brought them to Erin's apartment to share with her household and their 'underneighbors.' We (three underneighbors, Erin, and I) then piled into Erin's car and went downtown to the Jazzhaus to see Russian Discussion, because Erin wanted to. And, now that I'm officially going to Japan, I want to live it up as much as I can in Lawrence, and spend as much time as I can with these people.

Brittany, underneighbor Nick, and Erin: The Night They Switched Shoes

We danced at the Jazzhaus, too.

Couldn't resist trying to take this photo because of the way these two guys are right in front of their respective Jazzhaus window silhouettes! Blurry, for no flash.

Later in the night (once the restaurant was shut down), Heath arrived to join us, because he knows the lead singer of the band. At some point at the Jazzhaus, I thought about how I'd spent two consecutive nights now with two different groups of friends, and had great times both nights. And neither, I may add, included D$. The ambivalence I feel at the prospect of having him back in my life is, I think, connected to this.

Because just think. A year ago, I didn't know any of these people, hadn't been to any of these places. And now I feel more comfortable with some of them than I do with people I've known for years. I'm not sure this means it would be like that any place at any time. I just like knowing it happened; I came, I saw, I made friends before it was time to go.

JET result

This morning, Roommate and I began complaining to one another about how long it's taken to get JET results.

"So I see that I have a new e-mail.. and when I go to check, it's from Borders. And I'm like 'I DON'T WANT A FREAKING COUPON!' " -Roommate

I was typing an email about thirteen minutes after we had this conversation. My mail showed a new arrival. Dogged, I clicked my inbox.

It was not a freaking coupon.

I'm in!

Potentially Officially Affliliated; also, beer

As we know already, I have a tendency to relish connectivity. There's nothing better than a little web of seemingly random interconnected meaning.

Today, during my planning period/lunch break, I was browsing the interweb as one is wont to do. I remembered that I meant, last night, to look in the phone book to see if I could find some martial arts for myself. Yes, I'll only be living here a few more months, but hey, I could be back later.

Here is why: I was recently accepted by the KU Classics MA program, stipend and all (but I've always known that humanities grad students don't pay for school but are paid to be graduate teaching assistants.. I can see no other way a poor humanities major should survive unless independently wealthy). I submitted an application in a sort of just-in-case fashion, hope still being high for the JET experience. In the process of writing my cover letter, I realized that I really could gather quite a bit of enthusiasm for the program. From the ground up, Lawrence is a grea town-- this is a pretty big deal when choosing a place to spend several years, because even if your program rocks, if there is nothing for you outside of it, you'll be in a less than ideal situation. Also, the department has been nothing but great to me since the day I first wandered serendipitously into their halls posing as a prospective graduate student.

Actually, I would not have been there, but my roommate wanted to go check out the East Asian Studies department; I rode along (well, I had nothing better to do that day.. this was back in the late summer/early fall, when we didn't have friends yet). Classics was in the same building. I couldn't think of a good way to say "I'm a classics-hanger-on and would like to skulk around this department, offering tutoring and snagging friends," so I said I was "interested in the grad program." The Department Chair was busy, but she graciously suggested I come to the gathering/party the following day where I could meet and speak with grad students and more faculty.

This gathering also happened to be at the home of a name familiar to me through a professor at Vandy. This whole thing is rife with random connectivity.

I went to the party, and the Graduate Director, Professor Corbeill, told me all about the program. It seemed quite meritous, even if I were only posing as a prospective. Professor Corbeill later gave my name to a certain high school Latin teacher who was about to go on paternity leave.. without this, I would not be where I am, at this moment, sitting. This gathering was also where I met Erin, a first year grad student, and my Lawrence best.

So I filled out that application, warmly confident that it was a great program, and I am a great candidate for it. As time has passed, I've gone to a lecture or two, and hung around the department office a bit more. I even went to an afternoon translation session and made a good showing by sight-reading some Livy. In due time, I think I impressed Dr. Corbeill with my hanger-on ways, and I'm sure my shiny little transcripts didn't hurt either.

So anyway, I was looking for karate, right? And I decided to go to lawrence.com, because that's potentially a place to find all things Lawrencian. And there on the front page was this article! I beamed with pride. I know Heath from restaurant times at Zig's.. I used to be food expediter, and Heath was hands-down my favorite cook. His genuine good attitude was, especially some days, an absolute Godsend. He would laugh where others would get testy or blame me for things, and he was always upbeat and encouraging.

There in that barnyard is where I was when Professor Corbeill called me to invite me aboard the good ship KU. I had just toured the tiny facilities in my slacks and low heels on a chilly grey afternoon and was sampling a bit of the red brew courtesy of Heath when my phone rang to an unfamiliar number.

So, I might be back after all. I am not yet sure; I like the town, I like the department, and I like the connections I've made here. It's been fun being technically independent of the University, and would be cool to be in a program there. For now, we've still to wait and see what happens.

Em Not in KS, Part II

I found out later that one of the questions almost asked of me was in reference to my previous application to the JET program. I applied last year, but since the deadline was in the beginning of December, I had to send my materials from Rome. Half of what I sent didn't actually make it to the US (showing that the Italian post is, in fact, less reliable than my hopes). Sumir apparently told them about this situation and they decided not to ask me the question.

But I really wish they had. The JET program is a frightening prospect: participants are supposed to be envoys of American culture (or, whatever country they are representing.. the US just happens to be the country sending the most people) as well as assistant English teachers. It requires more flexibility than anything I've ever seen, coupled with strict adherence to guidelines. The application procedure itself is arduous and leaves no room for tardiness or error. You are permitted to indicate location preference, but are expected to just go wherever in Japan they would like to send you, and work wherever you happen to be assigned.

It sounds like my cup of tea, doesn't it? But it wasn't always. I feel that last year, even applying from abroad as I was, the prospect of going to a farther place than Italy for a much longer time, with less structure than I had in Rome was a terrible idea. It was something I would nonetheless consider, and I did apply.. my heart was not in it, and I think part of me was relieved that the application got lost in the mail. I wasn't ready, then.

It would have been glorious to sit in that interview and say, yeah, maybe I am worse at speaking Japanese than I was a year ago, but that's not something I won't be forced to relearn if I go.. what I'm better at is virtually everything else required by the job. I've got much more teaching experience now; one of the interviewers even made the comment that subbing is the closest US experience to the JET life. From what I understand, most ALTs (the position is called Assistant Language Teacher, I think) rotate into classrooms in an area and give lessons in many places on an occasion basis. Some are attached to one particular school, but this is actually kind of rare. Subbing is a lot like what the program expects you to do. One could also end up assigned to any grade and age level, much like subbing.

But I've also got more experience in the area of.. just learning to live my life. I've mentioned before, the idea of 'becoming comfortable being uncomfortable.' As I grow more and more adept at navigating life's ridiculousness, I feel that adapting to whatever random assignment I could get with JET would be a lot easier. Not a cakewalk, but certainly not as difficult as it would have been had I not (within the US, this first time, of course) moved far away from family, friends, and resource connections and attempted to just begin some kind of life for myself.

I didn't get to say all this, so I can only hope my calm assertive energy was felt by those in the room as I answered a few easy questions, and a few hard ones.

As I mentioned in the previous post, after the interview was over, it was over. I made my way up the sidewalk to Vandy.. I'm not sure you could call it dancing, but it wasn't really walking either. I got to reunite with the beloved Classics department there, chat with Tommye, and catch up with both my advisors, one there at the office, and the other down at JJ's coffeehouse. It was this part of the Nashville adventure that really felt like a homecoming, a return to that "kindly mother" (alma mater), absolutely a gem in my weekend.

Because of the nature of my personality, I am always seeking to make others proud of me. I think that my state of mind post-interview was high on accomplishing that very thing. I wasn't always happy while I was in college, but I preferred not to let a lot of people know about it. It was partly that I didn't want them to worry, and partly that I knew they wanted me to be happy. Informing them that I wasn't felt like letting them down.

The converse is feeling right with yourself and having something to show for it. Questions like why did you move to Kansas? and was that really such a good idea? will evaporate quickly and easily under the bright light given off by the kid who can sit there shining, saying this is what I've done, this is how far I've come, and I will do yet more and go yet farther.

The rest of the day was spent reuniting with college friends, including J-Hallers, Dean, and Dream Team member Beatnik. It was all lovely, hilarious, and made me feel very at-home in a town I had a hard time considering home while I lived there. I fell asleep gratefully at about midnight, tired but happy.

Em Not in KS, Part I

My Nashville weekend was a whirlwind, but not a blur. I must have run the entire spectrum of emotions within Friday alone (but then again, if you are awake at 3:30 am and don't go to bed until midnight, you have a lot of time in which to do this). Happily, this began with the stressful negative stuff that comes from being tired and traveling, and it ended with the elation that is the natural result of being done with something.

True to form, I didn't give my interview much thought until about two hours before, so caught up was I in everything else. This includes Thursday evening, when I was supposed to fly to Nashville, but volunteered to take the next available flight when money was thrown at me in encouragement. My roommate was scheduled for the 6:30 flight anyway: why shouldn't I go?

This left me at the KC airport around dinnertime, with no one on the way to pick me up for hours. In a last-ditch effort for a companion with whom to kill time, I called Barbie.

Barbie has been the Dorm Director at my summer job as long as I have worked there. She recently fell in love with D$'s best friend and moved to Kansas City, though I have not seen all that much of her in the month or so she's been living in the midwest. [Don't worry, I'll be saying more about my summer job, D$, and all the rest as time goes on.. if you have specific questions, feel free to leave them, though!]

In the end, she and her boyfriend came to get me. We all went out to dinner, and then they drove me back to the butterfly apartment. I now have a good handful of Southwest credit and am free to plan spring break.

My roommate was insisting on leaving at 4:15 the next morning, so I dutifully set my alarm for 3:44 and woke up at 3:30. The flight was uneventful, thankfully, and when we arrived, John was there to pick me up. I was cranky and strange, though a bit better once I'd had breakfast (a sweet 101-year-old diner in Nashville called ...

Alright. I have to take a tangent. I just forgot the name of the restaurant, so I began to enlist Google to help me figure it out. I started fooling around with Google Maps, and the next thing I knew, I was clicking forward from the Google mapped location of Johnny's apartment, walking along the Nashville streets like it was a Myst game. In this way I "walked" right up to the restaurant so I could read the front of the building. It is called Varallo's.

Technology these days... wow.

Anyway, I was even better after I got to nap from about 10:30 to noon. This is when I promptly began to worry about my interview, and feel unprepared. Upon meeting up with my friend Dean, I made him practice interview me, rather than have a really decent conversation. I fretted and asked for tips and read articles about the current political and economic state of Japan.

But, as it was wont to do, the interview was pretty smooth. While I never quite feel satisfied with these things, I also know that I gave a pretty good interview, and that the judgments made on me in those 20 minutes of reckoning were probably positive ones. As a result, the next blog I start up might be "MiriNihonDe" or something like that.

And, just like that, I could begin to really enjoy my Nashville afternoon.

Serendipity in Nashville

I'm going to Nashville this weekend. I've got an interview with the JET program: this means I've passed the first round of eliminations and face one further. I should be more focused on the interview itself, but I've been looking into my weekend plans instead. This may be because I am a bit overconfident about my interview (this will change as the moment approaches, I assure you). It's also because I'm really looking forward to a little Nashville vacation.

I was worried that I wouldn't be able to fly out Thursday AND have a job that day, but fortune intervened in the person of Mr. Jason, whose Latin class is occasionally half mine instead. Because of the way his schedule is set up, I could leave early on Thursday, if I wished. So, no worries about making the flight!

As it turns out, not only will I be able to see my friends who are still in Nashville (Johnny, Lindsay, Beatnik, Aasritha, Zul, and assorted professors), but I will even get to see some of them perform in Asian New Year Festival. I myself used to perform with the Souran Bushi crew; despite my general lack of coordination [and it admittedly requires little-- the movements are supposed to be symbolic of fishing crews], the dance was a lot of fun: Souran Bushi [on the video, our dance starts at 1:50; Aasritha, Dre, Zul, and myself are all featured, as are a bunch of other people I just love]. Asian New Year Festival, or ANYF is Saturday night.

But that's not all! Some old 'J-Hallers,' or members of the Japanese language hall from the past, are also going to be there. Not only myself and my roommate, Dre, but also a few more guys from around the southeast who feel that ANYF and the serendipitous occurrence of interviews at the same time calls for a reunion of sorts (Allegranzi and Seth).

And I'm not even done yet. My friend Dean, who is now in UVA Law, has some kind of debate tourney at Vandy that Friday.

So all in all, the weekend promises to be a complete overabundance of reunion-ship and good times. I would have stayed longer, but I've got to be back in time to sub on Monday in my favorite job (yep.. the Latin kids, again)!