Freelance Educator

I've only been subbing since November, but I've only been subbing "for real" since January. My first assignment was a long-term stint in one particular Latin classroom. Being stationed in the best freakin' classroom in the whole town could give me no proper representation of the freelance-educator lifestyle that was potentially before me.

This year is partly about becoming comfortable being uncomfortable. I've always been kind of nutty and perfectionist about planning ahead, and knowing what I was going to be doing well in advance. What could be less comfortable than actually not knowing sometimes where you will be working tomorrow morning until the phone rings at 6, summoning you from slumber? One must be portable, bookbag and lunchbox at the ready.. and one must thank God for google maps!

Today I am in Junior High. In Lawrence, this includes grades 7 through 9. We're on block schedule today, and I've had one section of Advanced Freshman English, and one of General Freshman English. I now get nearly two full hours off for the planning period, which happens to include lunch.

When I walked into the room this morning and turned on the lights, I could have cried with gratefulness. The desk was left neat for me, the room uncluttered, but decorated with various posters (some prints, some student-made). Silk flowers 'growing' in a pot on the desk. Library issues of Great Expectations and Lord of the Flies stacked here and there. Ah, English.

One thing I love about the Jr. High and High School system around here is that they don't make you go it alone. They've implemented a system of inclusive education, which I must admit I'm not sure I fully understand yet. What it means in general is that students with special needs are included as much as possible in daily classroom affairs. So there are paraprofessionals who tend to show up from class period to class period, often unmentioned in the sub notes, but certainly the best thing ever for someone like me.

That, being a relatively softspoken, short female who will not turn down help in professional situations here. I have decided that this year is a year for being humble, and learning a whole crapload of lessons. The underlying theme is basically that other people who have more experience are likely to know what they are doing. If you are honest with them about what you don't know, but earnestly want to improve, they can't possibly judge you harshly. And if they do, then they are jerks.

I didn't have a para for the advanced kids, but I really didn't need one. After subbing in elementary school, silence in a room of 24 students is mind-boggling, and beautiful. One para was surprised to hear that I prefer the upper schools to the elementary kids.

But I certainly do, from my experience so far. Older kids can be a pain, but they are much more likely to respond to my style of relating to them. At the very least, no middle-schooler has ever crawled under the table to cry and refuse to do his or her phonics work because "I don't wanna!"

I can handle a classroom full of grabby, sniffling six-year-olds, but I've learned that it takes a lot out of me. The energy required to stay on top of them is not something that comes naturally to me all of the time. Early childhood education was never really my plan for the future, but at least now I know that I'm not cut out for it. I have the patience, and even enjoy a little chaos, but I don't have the right type of energy!

I will still be subbing for elementary schools because I have learned, as those 1st graders soon shall, that "I don't wanna" is not always going to prevent you from having to do things you think are difficult. I've discreetly sworn off the particular school where I've had all of my bad experiences despite their warm and welcoming initial atmosphere. I never had paras there, and the kids were cutely merciless. I'm also going to avoid K and 1st grade assignments when possible. I've seen 3rd graders be perfectly angelic, so there's still hope.

And, naturally, I look forward to my periodic returns to the Latin classroom. I'm scheduled there for Thursday, and for the last week of February. It's nice to know the building, the students, and the material all at the same time.

With recession going on, Kaplan has cut back on class offerings, and I won't be working for them until probably April. I've also let the restaurant thing go (mentally.. I wasn't working there anymore after December, truly), although there are times when I do miss it. For all its petty drama, there at the end, I did get the sense that they recognized my low-key demeanor, my intense work ethic, and my tendency to be a responsibility sponge, and knew that they were lucky to have me.

Most of the students I freelance-educate are not given sufficient time to recognize it.